Delusions of Reality
by ice flow
Summary: Jirou muses on what could've been. Atoji, slight Fushigi Yuugi x-over


I came up with this idea after finding out who else Jirou's seiyuu did voice acting for...and this kinda just popped into my head.

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**Title**: Delusions of Reality  
**Author**: ice  
**Genre**: General  
**Rating**: PG-13  
**Pairings**: AtoJi  
**Warning: **Crossover  
**Type**: One-shot **  
Summary**: Jirou muses on what could've been.

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**Disclaimer**: I can only wish I owned PoT...Atobe and Jirou would be official...and the other series, I don't own FY either...but don't really care as much about that right now though...=.=...

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As I stare out at the streets at night, I see my old....acquaintances, all rushing from place to place, trying to stop whatever chaos the new dark presence has caused. I am unsure as to what the actual problem is, only knowing what the rest of the population knows: that mysterious attacks have been showing up blind, with absolutely no warning and anywhere possible.

I only vaguely know that it is connected to my old past. One that I had left behind. Or perhaps not.

I had lived that other life in a dream, as a dream. My conscious had long returned to this present world, unknown to anyone. They may perhaps seek me out if they knew, and I could not allow that. I would not let my current friends and teammates be hurt. If they realized what kind of situation I was in, they would surely interfere, no matter how futile it was, trying to help me. I could not, and would not allow that. It was neither fair to them, nor I.

I suppose that I am a little cruel. I left my brother behind to them, didn't I? I left him to continue to defend this world against that chaos, letting him believe that I was either already dead or possessing no memories of him. We weren't twins anymore, that was for sure. I suppose we might have never actually been twins in the first place, actually. Perhaps I was only a figment of imagination in that world, or perhaps I had taken over a body that was long meant to be gone.

In that case, I was definitely not his twin anymore. In any case, I most definitely did not look like him anymore in my current form. He should not be able to recognize me unless I called for him. And yet, I don't.

I had entered the Shijitenshisho due to my depression. I had wanted an escape from life. Life didn't seem quite as interesting as it had been, but that may have been because I had been trying to ignore the feelings I held for one of my teammates. I had thought that he would never reciprocate those feelings, and thought that sleeping would solve my problems. It certainly helped me ignore my heartache.

Then I was dragged into that new world, one that looked like ancient China, and all of a sudden, I had a little brother to take care of. My life in that world was not without it's struggles, but it was something that I had begun to prefer after a while. Even when our country's plots all fell apart, and the shichiseishi all started turning on each other, it was still better than going back to reality.

Then I was swept away in that river, and built yet another life for myself as the son of two villagers. It was a refreshing start, until I found out exactly what was going on in Kutou and the Seiryuu seishi. Then I was torn as to what to do. I didn't want to leave this village, and obviously, I could not go home as of then (even though I flicked back and forth between worlds when I woke up for short periods of time), so I went after them.. Only to be administered a potion that would erase my memories.

Luckily for me, whoever had allowed me passage to that world, sent me back to my own before my memories disappeared. But now I had to deal with reality. And a harsh reality it was. Life had continued on as usual, and no one had noticed my conscience's absence--of course they wouldn't, they believed I was asleep.

But something had changed.

I didn't realize it, but they had tried waking me up a few times, and I hadn't responded. Ohtori-kun told me this a long while later. They were worried when I didn't wake up, when I slept as if I was dead. And apparently, our captain was the one most worried of all. I hadn't realized that I had woken up in a different place than I had fallen asleep in. The hard metal bench had somehow turned into silk black sheets.

And life looked a little less depressing.

As I stare out at the backs of those running figures, I realize that that particular part of my life is gone, that I will now be living in the present and reality, but reality doesn't seem so bad anymore.

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"Ne, Keigo."

"Aan?"

Jirou giggled as he leapt onto the other boy, crash landing on top of the other's front and tangling their limbs.

"Do you believe in other worlds?"

Atobe raised an eyebrow. "What brought this on?"

"Oh, nothing. I'm just happy." Jirou gave him a brilliant grin.

"...I see." There was a pause of silence before the rustle of blankets sounded.

Jirou smiled as he felt Atobe pull him closer. "'Night."

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A/N: If I spelled that book/world's name wrong, oops. I haven't read anything from that category in the loooooooongest time EVER.

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